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“I’ve seen this a lot, that girls meet a guy without the intention of getting married, and before you know it, you’re too deep into it to get out,” she said. ” Quadery’s relationship, like those of most other young women interviewed by RNS for this story, was what she called a “modern” take on arranged marriage: She met her now-husband when their parents introduced them to each other with the intention of them getting married.
The pair hit it off and tied the knot within six months.
“I feel like the term gets thrown around a lot, and there’s a lot of stigma,” said a 26-year-old woman who lives on New York’s Long Island and asked that her name not be used to protect her privacy.
And the increasing familiarity with dating apps and online dating, which some researchers have noted often operate in a similar way to arranged marriage or even overlap with it, might have something to do with it.
When she met her now-husband, she was able to scope him out, asking him the hard questions without hesitation: Before they ever had dinner together, she knew whether he wanted kids, and they agreed to get married the first time they met in person.
It may not be romantic, but the process — supervised by an imam — was “refreshing,” Adkins said.
“It wasn’t like my parents picked out a guy for me and I just had to get married,” Quadery explained.
“It’s just about how I met him, and how our parents were involved.
For some Muslims, that means avoiding physical contact or being alone with one’s fiancé or fiancée; for others, that simply means avoiding premarital sex.