Separated man dating
By avoiding his “Life #1”, which includes his ex, all-things marriage and the kids — and throwing himself into “Life #2”, which includes dating you, feeling successful and good about himself, he can run away from the burden of his heavy emotions. Without a doubt, child support payments are a huge responsibility and a source of emotional and financial stress for many men.What this means for is that you have a rebounder on your hands; a rebounder with some major inner work and big responsibilities in tow. But if your separated man is bitching and complaining about it, it’s a big red flag flapping in your face.More often than not, it’s anger, self-pity, and feelings of entitlement that fuel a man’s complaints over support. So if you decide to stick around, I’d recommend you prepare for more than a nose full.He might feel he deserves more of a say, more over how she spends the money, among other things. If he was the perpetrator: Though some experts say, “Once a cheater, always a cheater”, I personally think that some people can learn from past mistakes.When he minimizes or avoids the topic, however, it suggests that either he has not yet worked through all the stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance); or, he hasn’t yet hashed through the legalities (or possibly even begun). He can’t just flick it off his shoulder as he would a bug. Anger is a normal and healthy phase for your separated man to go through.This is a man who once loved his wife, believed in marriage and the family dream, and committed himself to making it work. But that doesn’t mean it’s your job to deal with it, especially when he might be stuck in this state indefinitely.The thing about anger is that it uses up a lot of energy and space in your separated man’s brain and heart.
If your separated man was cheated on by his wife, these fallout emotions will likely rear their heads in some form as you get to know him.
Though his reasons for cheating were probably very valid and real to him, he and he alone decided to problem-solve his unhappiness by betraying his wife.
If he continues to blame his wife and doesn’t express remorse, it means he hasn’t taken responsibility for his actions and will feel more entitled to cheat again (on you).
( still married; just saying…) Now before anyone accuses me of picking on men, let me hasten to say that separated women can be just as “challenging” to date as separated men.
In fact, I pity any man who dated me when I was separated; I was messed up, and didn’t even know it!
The real reason his divorce hasn’t been finalized could be because of unfinished legal business. Often, his anger will be directed towards his wife – not necessarily through long rants but through small jabs, backhanded remarks and seething sarcasm disguised as humour.