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“Observe whether he has specific curiosity or feedback about your work,” says Walsh.
“If he’s genuinely interested, his enthusiasm will be obvious.” A red flag: “If he doesn’t respond or just gives you platitudes.” But don’t dismiss him simply because he shows that he’d like to provide for you in small ways, such as paying for the date or making dinner.
The good news: There are guys who want to help you chase success. Look for a man within a few years of your age with similar interests, recommends Adshade.
Maybe that’s a Bumble match who claims to have just read your favorite book or a bachelor in your grad program.
Others, though, tone down their ambition — or even drop goals altogether — in order to attract or keep a guy around.
As Yi S., 31, a finance professional, learned the hard way, the latter can lead to bigger problems down the line.
Next, when you’re on the first few dates, look for evidence that this is a person who will cheer you on, suggests Susan Walsh, dating expert and founder of Hooking Up Smart.
And research indicates that partners who have common mindsets are the happiest, says Adshade.
When a man gets face-to-face with how impressive a woman is, he can feel inadequate.
So rather than ask for her number, he’ll walk away.
When Lauren S., 27, a mechanical engineer, met her now-ex at a festival, she fell hard. Until her picks for dinner spots were “too lavish.” One night, he asked about her salary — then everything changed.
“He made me laugh, the sex was great, and he was intellectually stimulating,” she says. “He couldn’t look past the fact that I made more money,” says Lauren. workforce is female and 40 percent of those women are their family’s breadwinner.